Being Comfortable with my Guy
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I have been going out with my boyfriend for about 4 months now, and I still feel uncomfortable around him. I feel comfortable standing with him and being next to him, but I have trouble talking to him, and I have trouble makeing moves on him. He also seems to be the same way around me, and I feel like he is waiting for me to make all the first moves. Should he make the first moves most of the time because he is a guy? Also, how can I get over my problem talking to him? I really like him, but I just need advice.
Wow, it sounds like you lept into dating without being friends first!! You should be comfortable enough to talk with someone and be with them before you date, because you can get into ALL sorts of situations when you date that you need to talk honestly about! So this is REALLY really important. You guys need to be comfortable talking and being together.
Who told you the silly idea that guys have to start things??? What is this, the 1800s? That is an idea that is long, long dead. Girls are just as able to do things as guys are! It's not about "A Guy Doing Something to A Girl". It's about TWO people doing something TOGETHER because they like it!! If you happen to be the one to start it, that's normal.
So anyway, at least hug hello and goodbye. And give each other backrubs. And start telling him EVERYTHING. The whole point of a relationship is that you TRUST each other and are HONEST. So be that way. Tell him your hopes and fears and dreams. When he realizes that you trust him, he will start to trust you too and tell you things too. Encourage him! Don't laugh or scold. Just listen and understand.
The more you trust each other, the more you talk together, the more you hug and trust each other's trust, the more the other things will come along naturally. But first you have to be *best friends* which is the part you skipped!
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com