The awkwardness between us was unbelievable

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
Okay, well I finally got with the guy I wanted (a quiet, but wonderful guy, a bit shy I guess), and weíd been going out for just over a month, right? Everything seemed to be going fine. Until, recently he started acting weird, like he didnít want to be there anymore, and just plain, odd I guess... Then a couple of weeks a go I received a letter in the post which he had written, addressed to me, but written to some other girl, pretty much professing his downright love for her. I was so upset, and I called him to ask him to explain, and he denied it, coming up with answers like, oh I must have put it into wrong envelope, and such. He said, itís over, and hung up, leaving no explanation for why, although all I was left with was the idea that he was seeing this other girl. Anyway, as it turns out, he wasnít seeing her, but he wrote the letter to make me mad at him, and break up with him. Apparently he just didnít know how to face me, and tell me personally, so he made the entire thing up. I could not believe it and I was unbelievably shattered about the whole situation. For weeks I hadnít spoken to him, until last Friday we finally made a first attempt at conversation, well I started it, and you know the drill, hi, how are you, type thingÖI asked him if I could speak to him sometime, and we did, although the awkwardness between us was unbelievable. Going from this confident guy who I could talk to about anything, heís turned into this person who I really donít know anymore. I apologized profusely, although I wonder now, if he should have been doing the apologizing. Well, this guy has been my friend for like 2 yrs, so I was pretty concerned about the future of our friendship, considering he was ignoring me for a week at school. But I just get the feeling nothing will be the same again. And this had to happen just before our school ball, when I was planning on going with him didnít it!!! What am I supposed to do? Do I move on and forget him. do you think thereís any chance of my getting our friendship back together again? Iím so sick of just bursting into tears at random intervals during school because of my constant worrying. Please, please help me with this. Why do you think he has done this, and have we any hope for the future?

Thanks. Advice
Try this... it might not work but it's worth a shot.

Next time you talk with him tell him he owes you one last favor and that is to take you to the ball. I bet he says yes.

But back to the problem at hand. You want to salvage a friendship out of this botched up romance. Since there is no way of guessing what was in his mind when he wrote that letter, you may never know why he did it unless you ask him.

There is a chance at a friendship but you will have to start over slowly with him. Be caring, gentle, friendly, and see if you can get him back talking easily with you.

Your other choice is to walk away from him. That would probably ease the tensions you have been feeling that make you cry at school.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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