Torn between two lovers

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Where do I begin?! Well, about 5 years ago I fell in love with a guy whom I thought was going to ask me to marry him. After about 2 and a half years went by, and still no ring, I began to think it was never going to happen. I ended up cheating on him. He found out, but still wanted to be with me. After the first time I cheated and we broke up it has never been the same. We have probably broken up and gotten back together about 6 times-it is ridiculous! This past time that we broke up(about 4 months ago)I broke up with him because I didn't want to cheat on him and I had these really strong feelings for a guy friend that I have known for many years. Well, I started seeing this new guy (whom I've been friends with for years)and my ex wants me back. I believe that my ex will never leave me be. I know he wants to be with me for the rest of his life-he has told me. He knows about this guy I've been seeing. I am really starting to fall for this new guy, but my ex is always begging me to come over and do stuff with him. I will always love my ex, but I think he deserves someone who won't cheat on him like I did-I tell him that and he still insists that I am the ONLY one for him. I have been going back to my ex everytime something goes wrong with the new guy. This has got to stop! I really love both of them-and I am sleeping with both off them! The new guy has no clue what's going on either-so I'm cheating on him and feel horrible. At the same time, I can see a future with both of them! I never thought this would be possible. My ex is begging me to dump the other guy, but I keep giving the other guy more chances because I love them in different ways! So-I feel like a slut, I know I am a slut for doing this-how can I stop? I can't continue to go back and forth between the 2. I can't bare the thought of losing my ex, or saying goodbye to the new guy and losing that friendship that we once had as well.Everytime something goes wrong with the new guy, I think of how this would have never happened in the same situation with my ex-and I end up going to see my ex-getting his hopes up that we're getting back together.I can not tell this new guy(who I now am in love with)that I've been sleeping with my ex. Should I go back with my ex and risk cheating on him again? or should I start a life with this new guy with him not knowing what happened? This is so hard-I can't make up my mind who I want to be with. Advice
I have no advice as which one to choose. That's got to be solely your choice.

My advice is to make up your mind quickly because you are suffering while this goes on. And your ex is suffering too.

You could probably use some professional counseling to help you sort out your feelings. There are lots of them in the yellow pages.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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