I Cheated, Now What?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Here is my question you see I am married and have been for 1 year yesturday. I never saw myself cheating with anyone I always had my ex on my mind because we had so much happiness before but life came between us. anyway Me and my ex hadn't seen each other for almost 4 years the last time I saw him was at his wedding I watched from a distance. I felt like i died that day a big part of me did.
Anyway to make a long story short we saw each other and thing started a affair. It's like we always find one another again. Now we are saying good-bye for the fact we are married. but know that we are saying goodbye I don't know how to go on know I won't ever see him agin are hear from him. The affair lasted only a month guilt took over both of us. Please help what do I do
The most important thing you can possibly have in any relationship is honesty and trust. In all of this, you haven't mentioned your husband or how you feel about him! You remain obsessed with this other guy. That isn't fair at all to your husband. He deserves to have a wife that fully loves him and cares for him, not one that is off thinking about someone else constantly.
Something is really not right with your marriage if you're able to go off with someone else. If you were fully happy with your husband you wouldn't be lured away by ex-boyfriends. If you don't get this resolved now, you're just going to go off with the ex-boyfriend again when it seems "convenient" and that's not right. Either work on things with your husband or call it quits and let him find someone else who is willing to.
So step 1 is to go into therapy with your husband, be open and honest with him, and see if you can make things so you are both happy. The only way the relationship has a chance is if you work on it and are fully honest. If you're going to keep secrets and not focus on the marriage, it isn't going to work.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com