Telling this Girl How I Feel

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
Theres this one chick I COMPLETELY like so much. I mean I just really enjoy her company. I have her in I.P.C and talk to her every chance I get. And when i see her in the halls she just giggles and laughs (that is her way of greeting me i guess).

I try so hard to show her I like her, but in class she always talks to my friend (there friends by the way). I really dont get it. He's always mean to her, he always makes fun of her, hes just flat out rude to her. And still she always tries to get close to him and not me. I'm always nice to her. I always flirt with her in a fun way. but I can just tell she'd rather have him. (I still dont see why he's really mean to her).

She never actully really started talking until i sat next to her. Now she talks all the time. Its like I brought out the fun in her. Now she's making jokes and laughing all the time. The only time I really see her smile is when I'm around, Or when shes with my friend. =/

Is there any way I can tell her or, show her how i feel. I just wanna be close to her, but if im not the one she wants then It'll be hard to swallow but i will get over it. I just want her to know that i really enjoy being with her. How should I tell her??? What I'm really trying to say is. "How do I tell her how i feel?" Advice
First, she already knows you like her, you spend time talking with her and such. That's not how you act with someone you dislike. What you want to do is to be closer to her, and the way you do that is by BEING closer to her. All great relationships are built on friendships, and you guys have a good start on that. So keep talking, keep spending time together. Keep sharing your hopes and dreams. The more you do that, the closer you get, the more time you spend together, the more you can go to movies or dinners or other things as a "normal thing". And at some point you find that you are already dating and quite happy about it.

Not knowing what your guy friend is like, it's hard to say why she's attracted to him. People get attracted to other people for all sorts of bizarre reasons. It could be she watched some Zorro movie growing up and Zorro became her fantasy hero, and this guy looks just like him. You may laugh, but all sorts of "love at first sight" situations are really just a person who has a mental image because of a movie or story, and someone wanders along that looks like that person.

Hopefully she will learn REALLY soon that how a person treats you is far, far more important than something silly like how someone looks. People change how they look hundreds of times over their lifetime. They look different every year! But their PERSONALITY is the same. So someone who is good to you and caring is worth a lifetime. Someone who looks like your "imaginary hero" is going to look different in a year and still be a jerk.

Be there for her and be a great friend. That's what people appreciate, long after the jerks are left behind.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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