He still want be friends with me
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My boyfriend left me after a relationship of 8,5 years (we are both 26)! He told me at that moment that it wasn't working for him anymore. I thought everything was perfect (we were looking for a house, he wanted to go on vacation with xmas 2005), so you can understand that for me my hart broke into a million pieces! I begged, cried and all that stuff.. But he had made the decision and won't go back. I asked if the girl (she is 23) he was seeing lately was the reason of the breakup, he said she had nothing to do with it (they knew each other for about 4 months, so she just was a friend). After a while he confessed he had feelings for her, but said it was too soon to have a relationship with her. After a month, he moved out. 2 days after I saw them kissing. I asked him if they were lovers, he said no. A week after that i asked it again, and then he said they were. He also slept with her (she lost her virginity with him!!!). After their exams (end january 2006) they will go for a weekend to Rome (for the record, I live in Europe)! All of this is going so fast(he moved, they sleep together, they are going on vacation, he went to eat by her parents at xmas and they only were a week together, etc)! And i still want him back!!! My question is: is she a rebound (she looks a bit like me, but is different in behaviour: I'm a calm person, she likes to go out and is loud-mothed and stuff like that)? Or has he dumped me for her? Will the honeymoon last for long? He says he is happier with her than ever, but isn't it because they are freshly in love? I really want him back, because I think we could have a great life together, i think he just had a crush to her and since he had no other experience after those 8 years it was easy to chose for something who is new and adventurous, don't you think?
He went to my home today en we had civilized conversation. Somehow I ended up asking (I know I shouldn't have) why he broke up with me if it was the girl, and he still answers me she had nothing to do with it. He says he loves her very very much, and already planned some more vacations with her. On the end he hugged me. I don't want to think it's over, but I'm losing my faith now... Is there still a chance or do you really think it's time to move on?
He says he still want be friends with me, but i want more...
Have a friendship and hope that he loses his attraction to her.
Call him once a week to find out how is doing, to let him know you still care about him, and to maintain contact. Be cheerful, don't talk about your relationship, and keep the call to 15 min.
This will give him the space he wants, and give you the contact you need.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com