Getting my Ex Back

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
How can i get my ex back? he broke up with me 5 days ago because i was his first relationship & he wanted to see if he really loves me. By breaking up with me. at the same time my parents told me they were getting a divorce. My boyfriend & i had been together 4 over 18 months. Im still deeply in love with him & want him back so bad. How can i get him back, it isn't only me suffering without him but my daughter is as well because he was her father figure, so now her grandfather & daddy have left her. Can i get him back or just let go forever? Advice
Wow, it sounds like you have a lot of stressful things going on in your life! Well first, no matter what, make sure you take some time out to take care of YOU. Take bubble baths, watch movies you enjoy, eat your favorite foods. Don't underestimate how much stresses like this can affect you - and you owe it to yourself and to your daughter to give yourself time to relax and deal with all of this.

You can't of course control your parents. Parents do what they want to and quite a number of them choose to divorce. Hopefully you'll keep seeing both of them on and off and your daughter will still have a grandfather. It might seem hard right now to think about that, but give it 6 months to a year. Even divorces that start out hard often work themselves out and the grandkids get to keep seeing both grandparents. So don't jump to any firm final decisions there.

About your boyfriend. It's of course quite bizarre to say to someone "Do I love you? Let me take off on you and see." Love isn't about abandoning someone. That's like saying "Do I want to graduate from college and get a degree? Let me skip a bunch of classes and find out." Anyway, it sounds like something wasn't quite right in the relationship if he started having those doubts, but instead of dealing with it maturely, telling you the issue and then seeing if together you could resolve it, he went running off elsewhere. Which isn't a good way of dealing with issues.

You deserve to know what his issues were no matter how else things turn out. That way you at least get closure on the relationship, or looking at it from a positive point of view, you guys have a chance of fixing the issues and rebuilding your relationship. So call him and tell him you guys need to sit down and talk about what it was that wasn't right. He might claim there wasn't anything. But obviously there was, because content and happy people don't deliberately leave that situation. Hopefully by sitting down and talking about it, you'll be able to get a handle on what was going on and figure out a solution.

In any case, believe me, kids go through far, far worse situations than this and end up quite happy - it all comes down to their "stable rock" in the middle of it all and how happy their immediate world is. So have fun with your daughter, enjoy your time with her and find ways that you two can really enjoy life. It doesn't have to cost any money at all. The best memories in life are just forged when two people enjoy doing things together. So have fun with her, and I'm sure these other things that are going on will be minor inconveniences.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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