My boyfriend wants me to date his friend

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
This guy that I am dating thinks that me and his best friend would make a better couple. Well a couple of days ago his bestfriend and I kissed, but I felt nothing. I couldn't stop thinking about Stu. I told his friend that we shouldn't do that any more. Plus we told the guy that I was dating.

I keep on telling Stu that I only want him. How an I suppose to show Stu that I don't want his best friend that we are just friends? Advice
Wow, most boyfriends are worried that their girlfriend is going to leave them! And here yours is pushing you away. I almost wonder if your boyfriend IS feeling jealous of his best friend - thinking that he's not good enough for you. Figuring you're going to leave him anyway, so he might as well just accept it and help it along.

If that really is the case - that he's very insecure and this is his way of dealing with it - then you can try to help him be more secure but in the end this is one of those very important life-altering things he has to deal with. People who are insecure can easily keep destroying relationship after relationship by saying "She's going to leave. I might as well push her away. Oh look, I was right, she left." And it just gets worse.

I would sit down with him and really talk seriously about it. Yes, it won't be easy. But there are things in life worth resolving and getting out in the open. This is one of them. Either he realizes what he's doing and you guys face it together, or he's just going to keep undermining your relationship and it'll fall apart. It's up to him to fix.

-- from Jenn
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