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Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
Iíve been in love with a friend of mine for 4 years but was never able to work up the confidence to tell her I feel. Iím not exactly a looker and sheís so beautiful she takes my breath away every time I see her. I did try to show her my feelings when being around her by flirting a little bit and giving her some compliments and I could(and still can) make her laugh like no one else can. I always felt we had good chemistry and sometimes felt like maybe she was flirting back but thought maybe it was just some friendly flirting because even though she did that it never seemed like she was really interested in me. Our senior year in high school she was in a play and I went all 4 times it showed. I thought maybe she would see that I was trying to show she was really important to me, and she was very happy when she saw me there and would give me a big hug. But at the same time I could also see that she starting to fall for a guy who was in the play with her and it ripped my heart out, but I wanted her to be happy so I backed off. Sheís been dating him for about 10 months now and I hardly ever see her because we go to different colleges, her boyfriend goes to a college in the same town so it seems like theyíre pretty serious. We still keep in touch on the internet, but it seems like the only way for her to talk to me is for me to email her first and sometimes she doesnít write me back. When I get out of school on breaks Iím able too see her when I go back home, and I canít wait to see her, but at the same time itís hard to be around her when I love her so much and canít show her how I feel anymore. Itís also very hard for me when she hugs me because if I could I would never let her go. Anyway when I look at her I know sheís the one I supposed to spend the rest of my life with. But like I said sheís dating a guy who sheís happy with but just doesnít seem right for her, heís not a bad guy but she could do better(Iím not the only one who thinks sheís with the wrong guy). I want her to be happy but I know it wouldnít be right for me to tell her how I feel because it could wreck her relationship and make our friendship awkward. But I donít know what Iíd do if she married him or something, so I feel like I need to tell her sheís the one. If I told her I donít think she would break off the friendship but it would maybe make us be more distant and that would be very hard on me. Iím just lost right now and donít know what to do. Do I tell her my feelings and just see what happens or do I just sacrifice my chance with the love of my life? I could really use the advice asap because as time goes by my chances get smaller. Sorry this was so long! Thanks.
By telling her you run the risk of ruining your friendship.
But by not telling her you risk never having a relationship with her.
My advice is to tell her how you feel and get it over with. She will probably reply that she has a boyfriend. Then you should ask if she ever sees the two of you getting together.
If she says no, then accept it gracefully and go your own way.
You have waited so long, you should find out once and for all.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com