I'm here in Canada and he's in the Philippines
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
hi just want an advice how to get my my ex-bf. we've been together for almost five years and last august we broke up because we fight. from that night i never called him again and after a ,onth of no communication i started calling him i=and telling him to give our relationship a second chance im calling him everynight, we talked till midnight. und out that he has a new girl that girl was the one courting him ever since we're still on. i also found out that they already have a relationship on august even if we're not yet break. i found it october 15, of course
i do desperate
things just to win him back, i cried , beg him to give me another chance because he's blaming me that im the reason why he did that thing(why he cheat on me) he said that im not sweet, supportive, im a nagger, i admit i degraded him so much, i told him that im not sure to be with him anymore, that i dont want to be the bread winner just in case we get married, i even told him when we fight that i have something that i can proud of, that i already graduated and he's not.etc. after a few days i ask him if we could talk and he said the'res nothing to talk about because its all over but last october 20 we have a chance to talk, he went into my house then suddenlly he cried out loud saying that nobody is proud of him that he is a failure etc. etc.he has a verylow sel-esteem.
my ex bf dont drink much of the alcohol but sinve we broke up her mom told me that he drink a lot almost everynight with his other girl...well lets go back with our conversation that night, he eveb told me that his graduation is for me, that he stopped his review since we broke up.. that night we ended up frieds... then morning came, he called me saying sorry baby i thought im could give you everything but i cant while holding the letter that i gave him... his mom even asked him if he doesn't love me anymore and he said that he loves me so much and he's crying.
i went to their house to pacify him, i thought everything is okey.. we slept together in his room ,when we woke up he told me that he missed the other girl, and of course it hurt me alot. his family let me stay in their house for just an overnight because they told me that maybe he's just confused bout his feeling. so i slept in their hoise and i was supposed to sleep with her sister but he told me to slept with him because he need me, we have sex that night....morning came and again everything seems right we talk a lot of things and about us, he even ask me if i really want to marry him even if he cant give me my dream wedding and stuff like that, and of course i said yes. he even promised me to get rid of the other girl...after our conversation i went home to change clohes and when i get back with him again he changed his mind he told me that he love me that he dont know why he cant fight for me and get rid with the other girl.. by the way, the is doing anything that my ex wanted me to do before and my ex bf told me that this is the first time that he felt this...we talked to each other not to communicate for the mean time until his board exam came so i did but his sister told me that my ex and the other girl still communicate with each other.i didnt understand why he's treating me this way, he's angry whenever i called him and hes saying its over between us and he made a decision already but even if he's treating me like that i still show him that i love him so much. on his graduation day he gave his mom three tickets and when his mom asked him why is it 3 he told them that the other one is for me. i give him a gifts, a scrapbook all our picture were there, a t-shirt, and other small things, her mom even told me that he asking him to give the other thing that i gave him since he doesnt love me anymore and he said no and his sister told me that he's using it...i gave to him the dog that he gave to me on my birthday because we are migrating here in canada and theres no one who''ll take care of the dog. my ex bf family likes me so much, he even told me that why his family loves me more, why he's family supports me more than he.. Now im so confused, i love him so much and i want him back badly.. i just send him an e-mail last january 16 to greet him goodluck i know he read it because he gave me his password on his e-mail but he didnt reply anything to me..he even blame his mom for entertaining me because he said they're just giving me hope but the truth is he dont have feelings for me anymore, is it true??
what must i do... one thing more im here in canada and he's in the philippines.. is there any possibility that we could be back together? the other girl girl is doing anything, he said his new girl get so jelous with me and insecure that's why she told him to stop dealing with me. do you think he miss me too? does he think of me,? does he still love me? does the girl is just a rebound or he really loves the girl? please help me with this...
You've been broken up since August, he has a new girlfriend, he says he doesn't love you any more, and he is in the Phillipines and you in Canada.
These are not things that make me comfortable saying that he might come back to you. Stranger things have happened so I could be wrong. But looking at the situation realistically right now it doesn't look good for you.
Sure he has made some moves toward you during this time. However, that is only to be expected since you two had been going out for five years. It isn't easy for anyone to split up that finally right away.
Here is something to try. Stay friends with him and call him once a week if he will let you. Tell him it's only for fifteen minutes. Ask him he is, tell him you still care for him but don't dwell on it. Be cheerful and don't talk about your relationship. This will give him the space he needs and give you the contact you need.
Also, check out other guys. This will put your b/f on notice and also build your self-esteem.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com