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A Love Quote
We don't love qualities, we love persons; sometimes by reason of their defects as well as of their qualities. --Jacques Maritain

Long Distance Love

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My ex and I had a really weird relationship....We knew each other for a year and a few months now, and we went out off and on 3 times, he asked me out all 3 times and also broke it off all 3 times too. We were friends in the beginning, and he was moving, and said he wasnt going to hook with anyone because of that......

But then a few days later we did hook up....It was great, but I didnt want him to move, and he said even though he was moving he'd always love me, well he did dump me.....because of that reason....and he lives up there now, and we went out 2 times since he was up there....But were just friends now, which is great!!.....but I still love him so much theres not been a day since I met him i didnt think bout him.....

But he dont show his feelings at all.....I mean it and it gets me so mad!!! Because of him not showing his feelings I dunno if he still loves me....and by the way he broke it off this time only because I didnt trust him, and he says he'd be with me if I would have trusted him, can you help me plzzzz!!!..... Im going crazy!!!

RomanceClass.com Advice
Long distance loves are always difficult. It sounds like you guys had a strong attraction even though you had that long distance hurdle to overcome.

Every human shows their emotions in different ways. Some people need to say words constantly. Others just KNOW it without having to verbalize it. Some people need to constantly touch. Others feel strongly in love just by looking at each other without touching.

So you're saying he's not showing you his love in the way YOU want him to. But one of the keys of love is to learn to accept, enjoy and cherish what the other person is like. It is NOT to make them into your carbon copy clone :) So he is what he is! He shows his love in the way that he does. It sounds like he cares for you deeply. It also sounds like you were unable to trust in his love, and even now are demanding "proof" of his love. It sounds like those issues are what caused you guys to break up.

You need to sit down and talk with him seriously about these things. Lack of trust is probably the single greatest destroyer of otherwise happy relationships. He shouldn't have to keep proving his love to you, and your relationship should have a solid foundation of trust. You need to learn to trust in him, and to understand his feelings for you without them being paraded. Only by having a serious talk with him can you start to address these two issues.

Good luck!! Hopefully you will find that he still does love you (as it sounds like he does) and you will find a way to open your heart to truly trust him. I bet you guys could have a wonderful, long relationship if you make that bond strong.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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