We have Trouble Talking
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I met this guy about 2 months ago. The past 2 month have been great and I started liking him a lot. Well I am the type that doesn't like letting people get close to me. Plus the only reason why this guy and I met was because I was trying to get over this other guy.
Now this guy that I am with our relationship seems like it is going the same way. I keep on telling this guy what I think about it and he never says anything back. I think that he is scared and doesn't know how to express his feelings.
Okay now the question What am I suppose to do because I don't like feeling this way and I really like this guy?
First, it's a really bad idea to date someone on the rebound. It causes all sorts of trouble later on. But now that you're in the situation let's see what we can do with it.
If you're telling this current guy that "you're just like that other guy I dated" it's no wonder that he's being quiet :) What are you supposed to say to something like that? You need to treat him as an individual, as someone that has his own strengths and weaknesses and qualities. OK, and maybe one of these qualities is that he's not good at expressing his feelings. It's a weakness many humans have.
Being able to reveal how you feel comes with trust, and trust comes with time. Two months really isn't a lot of time. Spend time together, just talking about things. About your hopes and dreams. About the things you loved as a child. About your favorite foods. Build up that talking pattern, build up the trust. Give yourself time to get to know each other. There's no rush. A great relationship lasts decades. A few months at the beginning is only the tip of the iceberg.
If it bothers you that he won't talk to you fully yet, then you might want to think about that a lot. Why do you need him to already? What's the rush? I bet if you give yourself more time and take it slowly, things will go much better for you both.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com