Does my Ex still Like Me?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
it's been about 6 mths since i broke up with my ex. i seldom communicate with him n if we do its online. today we chatted quite awhile.. and he kinda talked about "us" abit.like that he still has the things i gave to him n that the songs that made the biggest impression to us still reminds him of me. we were together for 11 mths so maybe that's the reason y he still think abt me wen he hears the songs, but he has a new gf now n i have my own bf.
is there a possibility he still likes me. he tells me he doesn't, n i believe him.. but i jus ca't shake this feeling off.. n he also said a couple of times that if we hadn't broke up n if i hadn't found a new bf, we would still b together... ironic right..? pls explain
i am loyal to my current bf n will not leave him for my ex. i jus really want to know if u think he has feelings for me n what kind.. n if there is anyway to find out. i'm not going to ask him up front. i'm not the type...
please help me. thank you so so so much... i love ur advises....
If you were together for 11 months he could still easily be getting over you. It takes quite a while. Also, just because you broke up romantically doesn't mean you can't still be friends and like each other. Many, many people who break up end up being best friends and caring for each other for the rest of their lives. The things you guys liked about each other still exist. It's just that you didn't work well together as a couple.
He says if you hadn't broken up you'd still be together. Well, of course :) If the Titanic hadn't hit an iceberg it would still be afloat! But a breakup doesn't just "happen" like a lightning bolt. It is a long term thing that is caused by *serious* issues. You guys were together for 11 months. That's a long time. So something pretty serious was wrong between you two for you to call it quits. You had plenty of time to find a solution and didn't. If you got back together again, that issue would still be there, and probably would break you up all over again.
It's always easy to look back on a relationship and remember all the good times and dream about being together. But as people who try it out find out, all of those "bad times" come right back again and you realize just WHY you broke up and do it again. Our brains are wired to remember good things and try not to remember bad things. So it's good to treasure what was good about your relationship, but don't idealize it. There were bad things in it too - bad enough that you guys couldn't keep staying together. It's good to learn from those bad parts and move on so you don't make that same mistake again.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com