Maybe I should take this chance

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Hello, I never tried this before but I figured I need all the advice in the world right now. I broke up with my ex girlfriend about 11 months ago. We broke up because of fighting and she just generally wasnt happy with me anymore at the time. Since then we have really built up a great deal of trust as friends and I feel like we have really reconnected and I am dying to ask her for another shot. However, here seems to lie the dilemma.

She went out with this other guy for about 7 months right after me, and he totally broke her heart and made her feel awful. I didn't want to ask her to give me another shot after that because I figured it would make me look like a jerk, so I stayed friends to help her through it all and she met another guy. She dated this other guy for about two months and he just recently ended it. She isn't too upset about this guy leaving her because she didn't feel too strongly for him. She was hurt at first, but a couple of days have gone by and she is better.

All along I have been there for her and I assume she really is feeling close to me. But, there is this other guy at her job that is also a good friend of hers and he likes her a lot as well. I know he is just waiting to jump at the opportunity to ask her out, and she is a very insecure girl and I know she will agree to go out with him.

My question to you is this, should I just go for it and tell her how I feel right now? I figured I'd wait a few more days and then ask her, ya know, to let her get past this and give her some time to herself to recover, but I don't see her as often as this kid she works with, and they hang out at work a lot as buddies. I don't want to be overly careful and then find out he asks her out and now I have to wait until it falls through with this kid before I get another shot.

I really care for her a lot, and I haven't stopped caring about her since the day we broke up. I was very immature before and I'm afraid she would rather go for someone new before she'd risk going back to me. I have really grown since then and I won't make the same mistakes twice, I just think maybe I should take this chance and tell her how I feel now, and not wait any longer and miss my chance. I think even if this guy asks her out I'm going to tell her how I feel, just so she knows, and if it doesn't work out with him, then maybe she'd want to take a chance on me afterwards. I'm willing to wait, no other girls affect me like she does. Wish me luck, and be brutally honest with me and tell me if you think what I'm about to do is smart or not. Thanks Advice
Good luck!

I think you should grab the opportunity to ask her for a second chance before this other guy gets her. Be prepared to state that you have matured and give one or two examples... but don't dwell on that subject.

Ask her out for dinner and tell her then.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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