He's Got Many Other Priorities - Just Not Me
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I've been seeing this guy for about a month now and we are taking things really slow. We've had conversations about his life and whats going on in it. He has a lot of priority things going on that prohibit him to commit to making more time to persue what we have. Of course, I have only seen him about 5 times, but we speak on the phone at least once a day even if it is only a couple of minutes. I really like this guy and could only wish that him and I could spend more time together, however, it is not very possible right now for him. I tell him I can't wait to see him soon, but put no pressure at all.
I've backed off and not gotten in the way of what he needs to take care of. However, I do think we have something that is persuable even if it takes a few weeks to do it. I'm trying to approach this differently than anything in my life before and be more patient. But I'm not too sure how patient I can be. Should I move on completely? Should I go and actively date other people? I have an insecurity issue about men in general, but I'm working on changing my mindset (just takes time). I think I'd like to be patient and wait and see what happens, but I'm nervous about other posibilities that might surpass me.
Got any advice that you can give me or other experiences?
We all lead busy lives, and he is talking to you daily. So on one hand it's hard to fault him for that part of things. He is making the effort to stay in touch and trying to juggle getting to know you with the other things in his life.
I guess it depends if this is a short-term or long-term priority crisis. A relationship takes a lot of time and effort to work out. If say he is working on making a commercial for TV and it's a 6 week project, then yes, being patient while he does it might be very rewarding when he's done and has all the free time. But if he's in for a 4 year law degree, then this is just going to keep going and going. You are never going to really build a relationship and it will get more and more frustrating.
So look honestly at the situation and what it will be like after a few more weeks. You don't want to abandon something that might have a chance of working out soon. But if it is just going to keep being like this, you could wait YEARS and still not even know if he would be a good match for you.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com