I Still Like my Ex
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
My ex-girlfriend is one of my best friends. I find that i get jealous when she talks about her "guy friends." I told her that I am over her, even though I know in my heart that I am not. I have tried almost everything to get over her. Even distancing myself from her for two weeks.
I really care for her and I know that we will never be anymore than friends because thats why she broke up with me. She said that we made better friends that bf/gf. Any answers or advice would be greatly appricated.
It can be very hard going from boyfriend-girlfriend back to best friends again. If one of you still wants to be boyfriend-girlfriend, then listening to the other person go on and on about their conquests can be very painful.
The first thing to do, which apparently you guys haven't, it really talk about why the relationship ended. It's not enough to say "we're better friends than bf-gf". That's a pretty meaningless statement. All bf-gf pairs SHOULD be BEST friends. That's the whole base of the relationship. So the question is, what about your relationship wasn't "good enough"? Maybe she had some misconceptions about a relationship being a Zorro-like swashbuckling affair, instead of knowing that the healthiest relationships are long and enduring and full of friendship and caring (i.e. best friends). You need to really talk about it. Maybe you guys could still be dating if she has some misperceptions like that and in essence ended the relationship for no good reason.
But if you guys talk about it seriously and really DO find some sort of serious issue, then at least it's in the open and you both accept it. That might make it easier for you to then start dating other girls, which will then make it easier to hear her talk about dating other guys.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com