I sometimes used harsh words
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Hi. I was in a relationship for about 3yrs. I loved this girl & she loved me back. As time went by I was under pressure from her mom. I had to talk to her about school/work making something of herself. I really don't wanna see her get hurt or lead astray, so apparently I ended up being more of a father figure than a supportive boyfriend. I sometimes would have used harsh words (reverse psychology) to her to kinda motivate her. But it didn't work... She recently dumped me because I was being (again) fatherly. I really love her, I saw a future with her. She tells me that she loves me as a friend. But tells others her don't wanna be with me, then tells others that she considers me her b/f but just needs space. Sometimes she does things to me as if we are still together but then pulls and treats me like sh*t...I begin to feel confused and that she is using me. Today she said she loves me then says she doesn't want a b/f...but then she is going after another guy (who everyones knows that after he sleeps with them..dumps them)...I really love her but feel as is I am trying to win a losing battle..What should I do..
First thing you have to do is drop the father figure image.
That's what made her drop you. She is still interested in you but is watching you closely. Ask her if you are still acting that way and ask for examples.
Think also of what behavior you used that made her feel bad. Try very hard not to use it anymore. You and she are still talking and are friends... it doesn't take a lot to go from friend to g/f.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com