I tried holding her close a few times but she playfully pushed away
Visitor's Question from a unknown year old Male
Continuation of previous ¨friendship bubble¨ situation-
She says that I should not wait for her (she´s told me this previously before). I think she tells me this because she is does not want to have a ¨serious relationship¨ right now (e.g. boyfriend). Yet she tells me that she loves me and that I am very special to her. (we´ve known eachother for 10 years)I know that her studies will likely take her to Europe for about 9 months and I feel that she just wants to have the freedom to do the things she wants and not having to put her focus and engeries into a serious relationship (bf). She will leave again for school-Europe in about 3 months...but I have already began looking towards other relationships. But I do not want to tell her that because she still means more to me than these other girls I would be casually dating. I tried holding her close a few times but she playfully pushed away, saying that I ¨make her nervous¨. This maybe because she knows of my romantic intentions and that we were outside her Aunt´s house. But when she´s resting her head on my chest as we watch a movie and I have my hand massaging her back(underneath shirt)...she didnt say anything about that! (You see why I am a bit confused, yes?) Course, we were in the privacy of my room...but come on! (hahaha)
So, my questions are:
--Should I tell her that I am going to see other people?
--Should I try to hold my feelings back and give her the time and space she seems to be requesting?
(And NO...she has not said that I am smothering her or being too needy, or that ¨we need time apart¨) I will say this...I find myself at times, looking for clues to see if she´s found another guy or something...I just dont want to be sideswiped or made a fool of. (I know she is better than that). I think I just become ¨Othello¨ at times and the faulty advice I hear from others play onto my internal fears and insecurities, and at times I have questioned her about this. (She had a new ring on, she said it was from a guy...which turned out to be her Godfather, but I found this out well after I made an ass of myself.) (Well, at least I am aware of the problem! hahaha)
You need to have a close caring chat with her.
Tell her what you told me above and ask for her sincere input. She should, as a considerate person, be happy to discuss the situation.
From my point of view, the most significant thing is that she will be away for so long. This situation may end up being a waiting game. How can either of you tell how you will feel after such a separation.
Again, have a long talk with her and see what you can sort out.
Good luck! George
p.s. to answer your specific questions I would answer: be honest!
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com