Different Levels of Affection
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I've been dating this girl for a little over a year. At first it seemed she was all into me, but now I don't know anymore. She is a virgin and she is not affectionate and I'm an affectionate person. I try to kiss her and she will turn her head sometimes or I will tell her I love her and she will not say it back.
We have kissed before and she has told me she loved me without me saying it first.
I just feel like I care and love someone that doesn't feel the same way I do.
It just sounds like you two have different levels of affection that you find are normal. Every single human being has a level of affection that makes them happy. Some people are extremely cuddly! Other people are just happy being near each other. Some people have to say "I love you!" 10 times a day. Other people KNOW they love each other and don't have to keep opening their mouths to prove it.
So one of the most important things you learn in any relationship is to find a happy medium that you both enjoy. Look at all of the ways in which you two interact. You keep wanting her to SAY she loves you. But maybe she already DOES - just with actions instead of words. You want her to touch and kiss more. But maybe from her background, she's already touching a lot compared to her "normal life" that she comes from. So she's already doing a lot, and you don't think it's enough.
In the end, if you really need someone in your life that is much more cuddly, you have to make that choice. But don't do it because you think she doesn't care about you. Maybe she does, and you're just not seeing the signs she is giving you.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com