Flirting with a Cutie
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
Alright this is my situation. I have noticed this girl in my school in the hallways and everything, and she is just one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen and has the greatest smile that could light up the darkest room. Well, anyways, in the hallways I see her once in a while but when we do I always look at her and she looks back at me, and you just know when a girl thinks your cute or at least interested in you, you know. Well, the thing is though is that I don't know her and she doesn't know me!!!! And I have talked to a lot of her friends and have let them know I like her and am interested in getting to know her. So her friends told her and then I saw from a distance (at the end of the school day on Friday) leaving one of her friends showing her who I was and what I looked like. And seemed to me that she was interested from her just staring at me and kind of smiling I saw from a distance, but the thing was is that another girl was walking with me and talking with me and just laughing together cuz were good friends. But the thing is, is my close girl as friend is good looking herself while I noticed the girl I am interested in was looking at me the whole time I was talking to my girl as friend. So I have two questions:
1) Do you think, she might think I am a player or cheater just cuz I was talking with this girl, and walking with her, and she is good looking and all and she kind of was probably giving the girl I like the impression that we are going out or something, but at the same time knowing in the back of her mind that everybody knows now that I like her, so you think she thinks that I am that kind of guy now or something for talking and walking with my friend like we were out of school and with her being good looking also. I mean everybody in the school practically knows that I like this girl, so I wouldn't really be able to cheat on her in school with her even if I wanted to, but I wouldn't and I don't, I am not that kind of guy.
2) For say I find out from her friends or get signs from her, herself that she is also interested, how do I go up to this girl and just start a conversation when I don't even know her or have her in any of my classes or anything. I mean what would I say??????? Hi, my name is blah blah, I mean what should I say or how should I present it????
Well definitely you should be working on TALKING to her and not just STARING at her!! A cute smile is one thing, but what you should always like most about a girl is that she's a great friend to be with. I'm sort of curious why you are having fun talking to this toher girl and being happy with her, but not thinking about dating her? People who date should always be best friends and it sounds like you have one. It'd just be a shame to pass her over because of this other girl's "cute smile". Cute smiles are nice, but believe me, after a few weeks they are hardly something you date someone for.
So back to cute-smile-girl. You definitely shouldn't go around talking to her friends and school and everyone else about her. A relationship should always be about two people connecting in a private way, something special. You sort of make her out to be a piece of meat or an object if you go around saying she's important because of the way her lips and teeth connect together!! You need to get to know HER, talk to HER, learn about the things she likes and enjoys and cares about, what makes her happy, what makes her sad.
This is called "flirting" and becoming someone's friend :)
I have a how-to here
so start talking to her, even just to say "hi". If you have put all this time and effort into just saying "hi" to her, as you have to your school-wide smile-girl campaign, you could already BE her best friend. :)
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com