All this is so against my character
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Hi, this is my first time here. I recently relocated and was involved in a long distance relationship which seems to be loosing its fire. I met someone here who actually helped me relocate. He is a family friend to my cousin with whom I am now residing. He immediately expressed to me like days after I moved in with my cousin that he wanted me to be with him. I feverishly declined and resisted his advances which were progressively aggressive over time. He even showed up at my work place telling me he had told my cousin who refers to him as his brother, that I had expressed an interest in him as well. This was untrue however, but at the time I believed him and knew the sittuation had the potential to be very awkward especially for me.Eventually we grew closer and things happened, but I never trusted him. He is older than me and has his own place and everything but we as adults are engaging in a relationship which neither can be open about. We are basically hiding behind my cousin's back because we realize how awkward it would be for us all if he knew what was going on. I really refused to be with him in the first place for this same reason, I thought it rediculous at my age tnd his for us to be hiding to see eachother. I need a serious relationship , but should I be worried that at his age 27, he never hesitated from the beginning though he realized the situation? Do you think he truly has ulterior motives for wanting to be with me like I thought. He continues to say he could never hurt his"brother's " family yet I worry that he will take advantage of my sittuation and the fact that even if he did hurt me I would be reserved about reacting because I am hiding this affair from my cousin. But I can't help thinking that the only reason our affair is awkward and risky is because I have to live with my cousin for right now and the fact that they are so close- 'like brothers'
All this is so against my character, I don't want to be used or be a convenience to this guy like I felt like I was in my last relationship. Should I forget about this guy and keep thinking like I was thinking before my weakness made me give in to intimacy with him?
RomanceClass.com Advice
You should go with what your conscience tells you to do.
You don't seem happy with the current situation, so you should take steps to resolve your dilemma.
Most everyone wants to live openly and not in a lie. Decide for yourself.
Good luck! George -- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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