From Friend to Lover

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
ok, so me and this guy started dating, but i went to school we stayed friends, argued alot b/c feelings were there but he moved on but now he got feelings again and we perfect friends and everything seems too good to be true. we are like in a relationship, but without it being said youknow. i mentioned it the other day and we both agreed that it did feel like one, but we were both afraid because it may ruin our friendship, but this is great, but i think it be better if it was like a known thing you know. i mean do these type situations work? like we date, hang, cuddle and are on the phone and each others face CONSTANTLY does that mean we are together or what, do it work, how do iknow when itis offical, what should i do? Advice
Not only do they work but they are the BEST way to end up with a great relationship. All great relationships tend to begin with a best friend situation. If you just dive into a relationship for sexual reasons, they tend to collapse as the sexual hormones cool down. But if you build up the best friendship first, and then move into being lovers, you have that incredibly important base of talking, communicating, sharing, honesty, trust. That's what holds you together for years and years.

I have a whole FAQ on the situation -

don't obsess about labels. There is no "official" or "unofficial". You're not going to be stamped like a cut of meat :) It doesn't matter what anybody else thinks or "calls you". All it matters is that you two care for each other and enjoy each other.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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