Long distance romance becomes short time romance
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
My ex and I met on an online game and we were friends for about a month before she asked me out. Things between us were always good. We trusted eachother completely and I had no doubts about my feelings for her or her for me. Even the couple of times we argued (it was usually initiated by her being in a bad mood) she'd end up apologizing to me 10 minutes later if not sooner and we'd be perfectly fine again. She was so differant than all my other exes. I never felt jealous when she talked to or spent time with other guys because i trusted her.
Anyways, my aunt who lives in California came to visit us at one point and she offered to let me stay with her and go to school in California. My aunt also happened to live about an hour drive from where my ex lived. Natually I leaped at the opportunity to visit and look around at schools and meet her as well while I was there. However, when I gave her the news she got very uneasy and ended up dumping me that day. I figured she just wanted to start things slowly as friends and work our way up because real life is obviously differant from the net so it didn't bother me TOO much. When it came time to meet she met me at the airport and we hugged and were very happy to see eachother. We were also flirting with eachother right after meeting. Playfully nudgeing eachother and things like that. After getting some food with my aunt and her friend that she came to meet me with, we separated and she went home and me to my aunt's place. She gave me her cell number and I called her the next day and she drove all the way out to my aunt's house to pick me upand we spent the entire day together. At the end of the day we were snuggling on a couch and we told eachother we loved eachother and we got back together. The few days following that were pure bliss. I couldn't get enough of her. Then one night we went to see a late movie and it was too late to drive all the way back my aunt's and home for her. We had already arranged this with my aunt and she was aware i'd be staying at her house for the night. Instead of staying in the guest room however, we ended up sleeping together. We didn't have sexual intercourse, but we came very close. The next day she dumped me again.
I realise that we took things way to fast when we slept together (considering we hadn't even been together a week). She told me that I hadn't done anything wrong and that sleeping together wasn't why she was dumping me. I feel lost and confused about this whole thing. I know she had feelings for me because her friend told me before she met me she would jump from guy to guy and not be happy and not be together with them for more than a couple weeks. Our relationship incuding the time we were together online was about 3 months. I realize that as far as relationships go this is a pretty young one but I just can't see myself being with anyone else. She's with another guy now and says she just doesn't feel like i'm the right guy for her. Does she really feel this way or is there some other explanation? I know she's been hurt badly in the past (she was engaged and her fiance cheated on her with her friend) and I thought maybe she was scared of it repeating itself. Is it time to call it quits? I really love this girl and I want to make her happy. Thanks in advance.
From the way you described her I think it is time to call it quits.
She is obviously not a stable person nor caring. She flits from guy to guy too much and she broke up with you twice for apparently no reason.
Look for someone who cares for you and is looking for a relationship longer than three months.
Good luck to you! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com