Recently my wife and I discussed our sexual past

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Recently my wife and I discussed our sexual past. She was very sexually experienced and had about 14 partners, lost her virginity at 14, had sex with married men, was dating and having sex with 2 guys at the same time, spring break flings, you name it. I was more conservative and only had 4 partners, but not necessarily because I didn't want to - I would have loved to have the non-stop sex she did, but the fact is I didn't, and now we're married, til death do us part.

There are 2 issues for me:
1.) I feel like she was a ho, and I never wanted to marry a ho
2.) I'm frustrated that I didn't screw every girl on the planet before I got married

She is a great woman. I really love her and don't want to lose her. But I'm obsessed with this mental image of her having 8 years of non-stop sex with all of these different men. The flipside of my obsession is I keep beating myself up for not doing what she did.

Any suggestions on how to get over this one? Advice
You need to discover a few things.

First, it has to dawn on you like the sunlight that your wife is not a "ho."
One fifth of women have had more than 10 partners; one fifth of women started having sex before 16. Realize that one out of every five women you see walking by is just like your wife.

Similarly one fifth of men have had 2-4 partners. So one fifth of every guy you see is the same as you.

Considering that it is usually easier for women to get sex than it is for men, it these statistics shouldn't be surprising.

Remember your wife shared her history in a moment of trust. You would not be the man you could be if you held something in the past against her.

Good luck! George
p.s. and don't wreck your marriage by trying to increase your stats now.

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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