I just don't know how to open up to him and how to trust him
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
When I was 18 I dropped out of college to date this guy. We became very serious and we moved in together. He got into a lot of legal trouble (drugs, alcohol, stealing) but I stuck by him through everything. My family and friends didn't like him and I lost touch with all of them. He never would keep a job and I worked two jobs to support us and his expensive habits. After three years of being together I found out that he was cheating on me. I thought, "After all that I had done for him and all that we had been through together, how could he do this to me?" I had put all of my trust into him. I wanted to be with no one else besides him. But after many court dates with him for his habits and finding out that he was cheating on me I found strength in me to kick him to the curb and try to get my friends and family back. I broke up with him in August 2005 and I have been doing much better. I have now met someone who is loving, compassionate, and very respectful. I like him a lot, but the problem is that I can't open up to him and I don't know how to talk to him. In the other relationship that I was in there was not physcial abuse, but mental and emotional abuse. Nothing I ever said or did was good enough for him and he always made me feel stupid. But with this new guy he doesn't put me down and he just wants to be there for me to help me through this and have a good time. How do I forget what has happened to me in the past and move on and open up to this new guy? I really want this relationship to work out, but I just don't know how to open up to him and how to trust him.
It's not surprising that you are having this difficulty.
Your ex did not make a good role model for trusting men. And you are perhaps reluctant to share your relationship with your ex to this new guy.
I'm sure you know that failure to share feelings and to trust each other will probably be the downfall of your relationship.
My advice is to share the information with your new friend because he probably already senses that you are hiding something from him.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com