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Romance fails after 7 months



Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My boyfriend and I were together for seven months. Three months into the relationship I told him I loved him, but he couldn't return the favor.
I dealt with it, because I had him in the meantime. It didn't even bother me all that much. I would give him time. he was hurting because he felt guilty. I was just happy to hold him.
In October, I got kicked out of my house and came to live with him and his family for two months. It reaked havok on our relationship. I was dependant on him. I was obsessed with him and he was starting to just feel that the romance was gone and I felt more like a family member. When i asked him if he was happy he said he was. He said that he wanted me. We just had sex this past Tuesday. If I didn't know him so well, i wouldn't have even suspected there was something wrong. He wasn't happy. The other night I told him that I wanted him happy even if it wasn't with me. he chose to be without. I realized how stupid I was for ruining the relationship and went home. I've been crying and scared for days and keep calling incessantly and begging him to come back. he says that he wants to be just friends, but he doesn't want to hang out yet, he doesn't want to talk or see me. he says it will just hurt us to see what each other so soon. he says it with such finality and closure but I don't think he means forever. When he kissed me goodbye it felt like he was just going on a long vacation. He cried and waited with me until my ride got there. He held me and kept calling me baby. He drove all around town to bring my stuff back to my mom's house from his place, which is a forty minute drive. I asked if he would ever consider being with me again, and he said probably not, he just wants to be alone. We were kissing and hugging and holding each other an hour before the break-up the other day. He said he was happy and now he doesn't want me. I need him. I lost my mind and came to see him at work because I was lost. He said that he misses me and my affection when I asked before. I may be confused or in denial, but I think he might just need some space for a while and then maybe he'll come back? Do you think it's possible that he'll come back? Is there any way to get him back faster? he doesn't want to talk about the situation. I can't be without him. Please help me, I'm so lost and confused. I love him. I can't move on.




RomanceClass.com Advice
It sounds like you and he were on different paths after a while.

He couldn't say "I love you" after three months. Your devotion to him was not returned. Then came October and things took a turn for the worst.

It's been a short time since you broke up so don't expect that your feelings for him will lessen until about a month from now. He seems so final about ending the relationship that I don't see you two getting back together again.

Sorry you are in this situation. Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com




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