He just leaves me hanging
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
I was with my boyfriend for about 5 months everything was going great and things even got serious. he introduced me to his whole family, brought me around places he hangs out in and had me meet all his friends, took me shopping, to the spa, dinners, gave me his car he did everything 4 me. he went away on vacation for a couple days and when he came back i was expecting to see him but i never did. he would call me everyday after two weeks i was a little annoyed at the fact that we havent seen eachother since his vacation and that he wouldnt even say he misses me or im sorry for not hanging out. after two weeks i finally got guts to tell him how i felt..he basically told me that hes been busy with his job and new house that i need to be patient, that i was looking a little to deep into things and i need to relax and get some sleep. i got so angry for him just cutting me off like that and talkin to me like i am 10 years old that i started acting cold with him to let him know that i was mad but he didnt even ask what was wrong or if i was still mad it seemed like it didnt even bother him. he would call me but i wouldnt call him back for a few days then i would call him. then one day i called him back but he never called me back. i called thanksgiving eve to see how he was doing after not talking to him for a week or two and he said he would call me on thanksgiving but never did...we never actually said were over he never mentioned it and neither did I it just sort of happened. everytime i would call he would always call me back or pick up my phone calls after that but i would only call to get my things back. until this day he just keeps telling me well figure something out so i can get my things back but its been a month since ive seen him and he still wont give me my things back. I want to be with him but i dont know whats going on. there is no explanation for our break up. he dosent tell me he wants to be with me he stopped calling me,he dosnet say anything!! he just acts and talks like everythings fine like were friends everytime i talk to him that is when i call to arrange when im getting my belongings but i also act like i dont care and that i am just calling to get back things. i just dont understand y someone would spend all their money on u and bring u around their family and friends if they didnt have feelings for you. the only thing he said to me was that maybe hes selfish that its not me its him. and that he is not trying to hurt me. i dont understand what he is talking about..has he found a new g/f or just dosent like me anymore, or maybe hes talking about being busy with his job and not makin time for us.i just dont want to open up to him if he dosent want to be with me. I am waiting for him to come to me because by telling me that its him and not me makes me believe that he recognizes that its his fault y things are like this therefore if he wants me hell come to get me. i am a very understanding person and would give him the time he needs if he just told me that he still loves me but hes just busy but he just leaves me hanging and that pisses me off eventhough he does call but i just want to hear that he wants me i just got hurt that we werent hanign out and to top it all off he wasnt teling me that hes sorry or want to see me.. i felt like he was calling out of routine since he does everyday. i am really confused about everything does he still want to be with me?? should i confront him or just foregt him b/c if he didnt want me to leave he would try harder and let me know that he cares. i didnt mention this before but we are 9 years apart i am 20 and he is 29..he been married for 6 years before and got divorced when we first started dating but was sepeparted for 3 years before that. i dont know if i am rebound i know he still talks to his ex wife but shes moved on and is actually having twins. i am trying to see him with the excuse of gettin my things back but he dosent make an effort to c me.
I don't think you were a rebound because he was separated from his wife for 3 years when you two met.
But five months together just isn't a long enough time for two people to really bind with each other. All the things you said he did sound more like he was in the infatuation stage. My guess is that he really doesn't care for you as much as you thought.
Don't let him off the hook any longer. Ask him to meet you so you can get some closure on what happened. You deserve to know the answer.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com