Should I ask her out?

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
There is a girl I like. And would like to ask her out, but I don't know if she really likes me. What should I do? How can i tell someone likes me? Advice
It's always wise to know if someone likes you before you go launching into a dinner date :) How do you figure this out? By spending time with her. Otherwise, how do you know that you like her enough to date her, and how will she know enough about you to accept you? You want to have the best possible chance for a happy date. This means that you want to show her you're friendly and fun to be with.

So get to know her better. Chat with her when you see her. Find out what her favorite hobbies are. Ask her how she's doing in them, or show interest. If she loves quilting, ask her about the quilt she's working on, or ask her if she's heard about a fun quilt festival that's coming up.

Over a few days or weeks, you should be comfortable talking with her. You will have built up a *very important* pattern of "we have fun together" in her mind. By now you should have established that she is happy talking to you. That is when you can consider the next step.

If you always have fun talking about her love for bluegrass music, then comment that you've heard there is a great bluegrass festival coming up next week and it might be fun to go.

Don't make it a serious "Will You Go Out With Me" question, those are always scary. And DON'T ask her in front of a crowd. You don't want her to feel ANY pressure at all. Ask her somewhere quiet and private, and ask her in a way that extends from the friendship you already have.

So if you always talk about great sci-fi shows you enjoy, mention that a great new sci-fi movie is playing in the theater and you hate to go alone. Would she go along with you? That way it's "comfortable" - it's a common interest, she KNOWS you already have fun talking about that interest, so it's a small step to talk about it somewhere else. And she knows she'll have fun because it's a topic she already loves.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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