She thought I was distant now she wants to hurt me.
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
Hi!For the last couple of months I've been living hell.My fiancé asked me,all of a sudden,for "some air",since she "was scared and anxious...".We got engaged four months ago,but since September I've notice she withdrew from me and we were not very communicative.So,two months ago she asked me to understand her and give her some space...
I was scared at the beginning,of the fear of losing her.Then I calmed down and waited.We used to be together during the week ends,since my work was 80 miles away.
During all this time I tried to get in touch with her,called her many times but she wouldn't answer the phone.
One day I went over to her place and talked for a little bit.She started to cry and said that "I never call and I don't know how she feels..." and she gave me a package,which,I found when I got home,was the ring I gave her on our engagement.I called her back and asked why did she do that and she said it's only temporary,until our lives will be less complicated...
Since then I couldn't get a hold of her and I only saw her on our anniversary,two weeks ago after I begged her to see me and talk.She came over and she was very distant and defensive and she said "she gave up on us" and she moved on and also she is seeing somebody else.The reason was me not being affectionate enough and not verbalizing my affection.
I've been hurt pretty bad before and it wasn't easy for my to verbalize my affection,even though I was in love with her from the beginning.She is everything I wanted,she did so many things for me and we were doing so wonderful...But apparently not that wonderful...
I know she's been hurt.She's very romantic and need this kind of assurance and unfortunately I realized that a little to late.
Please help me get her back.I know she need some time.But the longer we are apart,the worse will be for us.Though,I don't want to be pushy.I know she has strong feelings for me,but since she thought I was distant now she wants to hurt me.
I'll be grateful if you could give me some advice since I want her back desperately.PLEASE HELP.
Thank you so much for your time.
The best thing you can do is become her friend.
Try to get her to agree to talk with you once a week for 15 minutes so you can see how she is doing, and so you can let her know you still care. If she is agreeable to that, ask her to have dinner with you once a month just so you don't lose touch.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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She's a flake