The First Date
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I just arrived home from a *first* date with a girl I met here at college. We exchanged great i contact, and the smiles etc... so I asked her out for supper. She agreed without hesitation. During dinner we had good conversations and talked about our families etc. She had a night class after our date so We talked for about 1-1/2 hours and the last 15 minutes she seemed to, all of a sudden get bored.
And she did some funny things throughout the date. For example, she didn't want to eat the same dish I was getting and even made that a point? "Hmmm?" I thought. Then at the end she offered to pay her own way. I told her not to worry about it. She said she felt bad, but thanked me, for paying. Then as we left she thanked me for dinner, but never said she had a good time, or wanted to do it again or anything like that. Feeling unsure at this point, I said that i "might" give her a call to do something again, and made some suggestions, and she said with a smile "okay, maybe, well see" kinda answers.
So my question is, do you think in your opinion this date was good or bad, or is she even still interested (because in my opinion I didn't feel that way). And also what should I do from here? I would like your thoughts and adivce?
First dates are always uncertain, as two people get a feeling for what each other is like. I don't think it's strange she wanted to get a dish you weren't getting - this is the standard in all my friends dinners because we want to see what various dishes look like and perhaps try each others' foods if it looks interesting.
You don't have to say you have a good time after dinner, for some people in fact it's sort of an insult because it's a "Jeez in case you weren't paying attention to my reactions at all, I want to lay out exactly what my reaction was" statement. You guys talked the entire time and enjoyed talking, so it's not like she had an awful time. She was probably feeling unsure of what to do next - i.e. would you want to date her again. So when you said you "might" call her that gave her an iffy sign, that maybe you wouldn't. So her response was in the same vein. She wouldn't say she was going to wait by the phone every second if you just told her you weren't even sure if you were going to call her.
Only you know how much you enjoyed your time with her. If you enjoyed it, certainly call her again and arrange to spend more time! If you didn't enjoy the dinner, then don't call. That's what dating is all about :)
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com