The only reason why we fought so much is that we couldn't see each other as often as we wanted to

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My ex and I had a long distance relationship for over a year. We were so in love, it was amazing. I thought he was my soulmate. He would send me cards that said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. We talked about marriage and children and growing old together. We argued a lot throughout this relationship, because it was so hard to be apart. At times we would cry together on the phone. He had everything I wanted in a person... Gorgeous man with gorgeous heart. Gentle and kind, intelligent and funny. One time we were arguing and he said he couldn't take it anymore. He told me that he still loved me, but that we were never going to stop arguing and that it just wasn't going to work. So he broke up with me. We've been broken up for about two months now. It was four days before my birthday. I'm still not over him. I can't get over him. Every morning that I wake up I think of him. Every man I meet I compare them to him, and none of them measure up! I've been trying to move on... at times it is easier than others. But I feel like I will never stop loving him. He is the man I still want to spend the rest of my life with... I can't arrange a chance meeting with him because I'm so far away from him... About a 1000 miles I think. We've talked on the phone at times, but I'm scared to tell him that I still love him or ask him to think about getting back together, because I'm afraid he will not want to be friends with me if I can't get over him. How do I get him back? I know I was a good girlfriend to him... I know that the only reason why we fought so much is because we couldn't see each other as often as we wanted to... I want him back! Please help me. Advice
You are in the classic bind.

You can't tell him how you feel because it might ruin your friendship. Well, you really have to bite the bullet and let him know because it's not going to change otherwise.

He feels that the arguing is part of your relationship and not just because you can't be together. At the very least, I hope you are not still arguing together. One thing you can do is to stop arguing with him. Surely you are able to stop arguing? Just agree with him or at least say "let's talk about it later."

You said he was "gentle and kind" ... how does this translate into arguing... are you sure that the arguing is not coming from you and not from him? I can't tell from here.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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