Husband never says "Sorry"
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
i been married for three years and i have 2 year old son. my husband has a very bad ego problem. everytime we get into an argument he never comes to me even when its his mistake. i always tried explaining to him that we should solve our problem the same night no matter how big the problem is and he keeps on saying yes but when time comes he doesn't do anything.. when i try to remind him about the promise he tells me that it was me who forced him to make the promise. i been trying to explain him for three years that we are adults now and we have kid, we should solve our problems the same day or next day the latest cuz its not healthy.. every time we get into fight i m the one who has to go to him and open the topic and try to explain him even when its his mistake.. sometimes i try to give him time but he never comes to me.. i wait for one week and during this time we don't talk nothing... after one week when i go to him and ask him what did he get by not saying sorry, he says he was fine and didn't miss me at all..
i just don't know how to explain him... half of the time our fight are not serious... two days ago we got into little argument.. he drives rough and i keep on telling him not to do it, so when he was driving this girl was trying to cross and he didn't see her and i asked him to stopped and he brake really hard so i got mad at him and i only said that y do u drive so rough, can't u drive solve and he got mad over that and stopped talkin to me. its been two days we are not talking..... i m lossing my patient now.....
he is a nice guy but when he does this i feel like he doesn't care about me, if i stay sad or if i cry.... during our argument somtimes i cry cuz he doesn't come to me, and my crying doesn't effect him.... he will act like he didn't see me crying..
i don't want to leave him just because of this, please advice what should i do to make him understand.... i have tried explaining him million times but he is not getting it.. my friends tells me that i should leave him hanging and one day he will realize...
another problem is that i live in joint family - its me, my husband, his younger brother, my son and my mother in law.... my mother in law always try to compete with me but my husband doesn't see it and he doesn't like ot hear anything against his mom.. she always try to ruin my plans and my husband doesn't say anything... sometimes i feel like my husband cares about his mom more than me and my son.. we have store which my mother in law runs, and he helps her after work.. he remembers everything about store but can't remember stuff about me and my son... when i ask him y, he goes because store is store.... when i ask him about his priority, he has no answer.... when we are happy, we are very happy together...
please help me with this problem...
I once had a relationship where the woman wanted me to say "sorry" and I wanted her to say "thank you." I always interpreted "sorry" as "I'm bad" and "thank you" as "you are good."
This probably has nothing to do with your interpersonal dynamics but who knows.
How about trying this... say to him "I know you are feeling bad and that you are sorry about...so I understand it." See how he reacts to this approach.
A professional marriage counselor might also help you two.
Sorry about your situation with your mother-in-law, I can't think of anything to say to help you with that. Learn to love her?
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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