He's a Net Dater
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
The guy was traveling west with another woman. He was intimately involved with yet another, and then trying to date me. He called me after his current lover died. He drove a distance 2x to see me. The 3rd time he drove, he reserved a room for 2. I tried to tell him that I wanted to make a selection. He reserved it.
When he arrived, I said to cancel it because I wouldn't go. He called me names and left, writing me a painful e-mail letter. He is listing his profile on a site seeking intimacy with others in another state that he is moving to. He claimed that he was going to make a commitment or set it up for me to move there. Now he is telling me that I am not for him, find another sicko that likes that kind of abuse, and that he pities me. I offered to reciprocate for his losses, but he said not to bother. Is there any way to heal the pain that I am feeling again.
First off, the most important thing between two people is honesty and trust. A relationship is about caring for the other person, valuing how they feel and working to make them happy.
This guy sounds like he is dating lots of people at once, still looking to date lots of people and wants to have fun making his decisions and his choices. That's not what a relationship is about. A relationship is about two people focussing on each other and making choices that make the other feel good.
He may have lots of phrases and lots of techniques from his time on line. That doesn't mean that any of them are valid. You deserve someone that cares for you and who will move at your pace until you feel things are right for you. That is what love is about - having two people who both feel good about something. Not having one person forcing, pushing or blackmailing the other into choices. He is NOT right for you. Let him find another woman who enjoys headgames. Take your time, date someone seriously who is local to you, and find someone who is well suited to your interests and your attitudes.
He is not.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com