I'm afraid she will never see me as more than a friend.
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Me and my girlfriend of two years broke up two months ago. She met some kid at her job, claims its true love and they are all about each other. I've been spacing out my emails to her in order to start a friendship up slowly, but out of nowwhere this kid ended things with her the other night saying he has feelings for his ex. She cried and said it was the worst breakup in her life, never mentioned anything about missing me, and told her mom she truly loves this kid. She begged him for a way to work it out and now they're back together.
In the meantime, I had no idea until her mom just told me. She was mad at me because I didn't call her back a few days ago when she called me, but I figured I'd wait a few days, email her, then see what happens. You know, to try and raise her curiousity about what I'm up to. I just don't understand what to do. She claims she's deeply in love with this kid after only two months together, acts like she doesn't care if I exist, but gets aggravated if I don't call her back if she calls. She's always online after this kid leaves, but I go on under a different name so I don't have to talk to her. I don't want to overdue the buddy thing or else I'm afraid she will never see me as more than a friend.
I'm so confused. I tried the spaced out calls and emails figuring it would be a great idea, but I wish I knew what was going through her head. It's almost as if she still has feelings for me but she's neglecting them. That's just my guess, but I'm probably wrong. Please give me some advice as to how I should deal with this.
I answered your question yesterday or the day before where you said you had made the mistake of calling and begging her to come back. Here is what I said the last time:
Yes you did make all the mistakes.
But your idea about becoming good friends is an excellent one. My advice is to call her once a week to see how she is doing, to let her know you care, and to maintain contact. Don't discuss your relationship, be cheerful, and limit the call to 15 mins.
How long should you keep trying? If you are making no progress try 3-6 months. But if you detect progress continue on.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com