I have often been upset, finding it very difficult to hide my emotions
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
Hi, I am replying to your advice given to me yesterday. I know I am fortunate to have a good friendship with my ex, and I appreciate your advice to phone him weekly for 15 minutes, but at the moment I talk to him more often than that. I also usually see him at least once a week, although I cut that off recently. I phoned him yesterday and we agreed to see each other soon, would you advise not to see him? Or if I do then how should I act around him? So far I have often been upset, finding it very difficult to hide my emotions, and he has been very supportive. Should I try harder to hide my sadness? I would prefer to keep seeing him, although if you think it would make a positive relationship (friendship or hopefully going out again) less likely, then I would consider seeing him less or not at all.
Also, at the moment I engage in conversation about his new girlfriend, it makes me feel better in a way because then I know he isn't hiding anything from me. Plus when he talks about her, he makes it clear that he doesn't see a real future with her, and that they aren't very serious, which makes me feel better. However, it is upsetting to acknowledge her existance and I think he feels uncomfortable talking about her. Should I continue to mention her or pretend that she doesn't exist? She apparently wants to meet me, but I have said no, would it be productive though to meet her and let her see how well my ex and I get on? Sorry to ask so many more questions! Thankyou x
You should exercise your good judgement on all these issues.
You have a keen sense of self-awareness and know best how to approach the choices you have to make. I wasn't aware that you were in so much contact with him when I gave you the last advice.
Keep doing what you have been doing, including seeing him. As much as possible, be honest with him about your emotions. Talking about the other woman seems to evoke the right answers from him so that seems fruitful. I agree with your hesitation about meeting her--too uncomfortable it would seem.
Trust your instincts they seem to be very good! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com