I don't get why being heartbroken has to change me to such a degree
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
my situation is actuali reali complicated n long to explain, but just looking for some quick advice. =P
there was this guy i was sort of with on and off for the past year. we never went into an 'official' relationship bcos we knew half a year back, he would be moving out of the country so why start a relationship n make things even more difficult. anyway, we pretti much just tried to ignore that fact n the year went on, and finally, when summer came, we just made the very best out of the whole july we had together. all i wanted wus to make the very best out of my time left with him, but now that i look back, all i think i did apart from having even greater memories wus make it even harder to let go. i had a blast with him over the summer, but the bigger picture is, how do u forget someone u knew for a year in like a month?!
anyway, so when he first left, i just coped my blocking the whole thing out and keeping myself occupied 24/7 in aug. it worked and i got a job. on days i didnt haf work, i went out with my frens and found myself being able to haf a blast despite the fact that he wus out of my life. but on and off, on days i wus free and at home, i wud just breakdown..so obviously i had to keep myself CONSTANTLY busy, and i thought back then, once school started, that would be even better. but it turned out to be the veri opposite, and from sept up till now, i just feel like im going backwards and even if im making progress, it goes on and off.
when im back in the same environment (school), all im reminded of bsides him is the person i wus when he wus in my life. i see all these ppl i talked to in such a diff way last year, im reminded me of how much stronger n confident i was n it just frustrates me so much that i cant be like that again...and consistently.
so now the problem is not just missing him, i do but more of how im changing as a person bcos of it. at first, it wus just plain depression and grieving over his absence but then it drifted to being depressed over how different ive become, how im SO MUCH LESS BUBBLY, less talkative, outgoing etc etc. and now all i want to do is be that same person again, but how can i when im not happy?
so it's just like this never-ending cycle of being depressed cos im not the same, and cos things are different and not just missing him like in teh summer.
and i hate how not having him in my life is changing me so much as a person. now i think and over-analyze everything. looking back, things were so much simpler last year and i really was so much happier and i wusnt even in an 'official' relationship. it wus enuf to get to talk to the guy i liked evryday...and we never really ended things when he left. we left it with a ' i miss you' and a hug.
and i dont get why i cant miss him, but still be me and live my life. i know i havent moved on completely yet, bcos i styll think of him a lot...and tho he hasnt come online anymore for the past month, he did send me a message recently to say happy birthday, and so, we rnt completely cut off from each other's lives. tho keeping in touch i know really doesnt help me to move on. so basically, all i want to do is return to being the confident me again, but i dont feel confident when im not happy, which im not always and it's just this never-ending cycle.
and i don't get why being heartbroken has to change me to such a degree.
You feel you are depressed and it sounds like it tool.
The best thing you could do is to see a professional counselor. This person could help you figure out the answers to your questions.
You have analyzed your situation very well and I can't add much to it. My guess is that a professional counselor could be of assistance.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com