Almost 2 weeks ago, when I was on my way down to visit him, he broke up with me

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
"John" (fake name) and I had the picture-perfect relationship. We were best friends for a few months before we dated and we perfectly transitioned into the best relationship. After awhile, we both came to the conclusion that we wanted to get married after college and whatnot. Whenever other friends of ours would break up, we would both be like "I'm so glad that it isn't us". "John" and I began dating right after we graduated from high school and we both went to seperate colleges. Freshman year went perfectly. We talked every night, saw each other frequently, did little things for each other, etc. I was in HEAVEN. However, into my sophomore in college, our relationship turned bad. "John" started to slowly shut me out. He wanted to talk less on the phone, which eventually diminished into a few minutes a night (if I was lucky) and he stopped doing all the special things that made everything magical. Throughout the semester, I began getting really depressed about it. "John" began acting like I was just a pain in the ass, he was not completely mean to me, but was not the same guy. Almost 2 weeks ago, when I was on my way down to visit him, he broke up with me. He was sharp with me on the phone, etc. "John" did say he still loved me but his feelings about me were "too complex to put into words". He told me I was the one who had changed in college. I told him to not call me until we came back home for Thanksgiving break and see where we stand. I am completely terrified that it is going to be completely over for us. I know I have not been perfect in the past, but I am dedicated to trying to fix it. I just don't know if he is, or if he will even call me over the break. I am so worried, if no, then I will be devestated. He is/was the love of my life and my soulmate. How can I win him back? Two other guys have tried persuing me, I tried being open minded, but they only reinforeced my feelings for "John". Please write back asap, break is in less than a week. Thank you for your time. Advice
When someone breaks up with you, you have to walk a fine line between attracting them back and forcing them away.

One way of doing this is to call him once a week just to see how he is doing, to let him know you care, and to maintain contact. Don't talk about your relationship. Be cheerful and limit the call to 15 mins. While it doesn't sound like much, it will give him the space he wants and you the contact you want.

Hope this works for you! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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