I have fallen in love with him but don't know if i should say anything or not
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Hi...I have been very close with my best friend for the last 4 years...every since we graduated college (2 years ago) we have become even closer (even though he lives 4 hours away) and have been able to see each other on average about once a month...my dilemna is now this...about 9 months ago, we started sleeping together casually...and initially, it absolutely was casual and always a result of drinking...but now, I have realized that somewhere along the way I have fallen in love with him but don't know if i should say anything or not. We are very open with each other and talk about everything, but I just don't know if i should say anything b/c he truly is so important to me and I don't want to jeaprodize the friendship. Also, we live in different states, and from what I hear, long-distance relationships rarely work out...I am really distraught...I feel like I can't go on pretending like I don't have stronger feelings for him now. Should I just say something or should I just tell him we need to stop sleeping together?
This is the classic question... should I tell my friend that I love him and risk losing his friendship?
One approach that may work is to tell him that you are "developing strong feelings" for him. This is not too strong a statement to scare him away but it gets the message across.
Regarding the distance, something has to give if he says he loves you too. One of you will need to relocate otherwise what's the point?
If he wants to keep it at friends and you don't feel like sleeping with him under those circumstances just tell him.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com