To my horror, she said that she really liked me a month ago, but not any more

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
Hey, I hope this isn't too long...

Just to let you know, I am in Year 10.

At the end of last year, i saw this girl in the sports class, she was in a grade below me. She had came from overseas, and because she didn't know english well, had to go to an "intensive english course" for one year, so she was the same age as me.

And then at the beginning of this year, i really liked her. I think she did too... Anyways, we became really close friends. We were like together all the time. But when we hang out in town (eg. not in school), we were usually with some of either my friends and her friends, so never went out. And she was the closest friend I had since many many years.

She really wanted to go to my grade, and after asking the principal countless times to move up on the basis that she was old enough, she finally got through, but was only in 2 of my classes.

But then I summoned up my courage and asked her out with only us together. To my horror, she said that she really liked me a month ago, but not any more (but still do as close friends), and also said that her dad wont let her go out together with a boy. I thought that was just to comfort me. And I still am not too sure, because she always always told the truth.

I was obsessed with her then... think about her every minute, and it was like preventing me from doing school work. And then I did the most horrible thing, I freezed her out, ignored her for a month, before realising that it was wrong... I did it because she had gotten another best friend, and some how it had hit my confidence really badly) At least I wasn't obsessed with her anymore, but I still really liked her. (everytime i thought of her, I went, "f*ck you!" to that thought.)

She said she liked me before was because I was the kindest person she had seen since coming to Australia. (Who else makes friends with people they hate, and then pretend to like them?). But said I didn't have self-confidence. (I lost it long ago ever since my dad passed away.) So I worked on that part. Now I can do anything without fear.

This month we started talking again, but she seems rather cold towards me. I also realised we had practically no common interests at all to start with. Besides the fact that we can get first place in tests without actually doing anything.

I want to become good friends again and not like her anymore... I used to be able to go over the problems of life easily, because she was always supporting me. Now I have to face all my problems alone. (And I also realised I suffered depression for quite a while, I realised this after stumbling on a depression website. Though I got out of it now, and a, pretty happy, but something is still missing in my life. (a best friend)) Advice
Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders.

You know you will have to do a lot of work to get her back as a good friend since you froze her out for so long. Getting her back will have to be a daily process for quite a while until she grows to trust you again.

Do something nice for her as a symbol of your renewed friendship. Something like invited her (and her new friend if necessary) out for ice cream or any other thing of that nature.

You have my best wishes! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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