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The quality of love and the duration of a relationship are in direct proportion to the depth of the commitment by both people to making the relationship successful. -- Brian Tracy

I dont even think i should be with my friend or husband

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
Hi I am a thirty three year old latin female that has been married for 10 years. In the years that I have been married, I have been physically and verbally abused. I did not leave my husband, because I loved him and encouraged him to better himself. Thru this ordeal, I suffered greatly, plus when everything would go right he would start all over again. It took counseling for him to stop, the problem is that i was trying to leave him the first 3 years, i kissed a friend of mine and i told my husband about it and it blew up in my face. I suffered greatly by being honest. I dont know what kind of person my husband became from the sweet caring man, to an abusive, lying, the cheating part is circumstantial, but evidence of him lying exists. Thru counseling I thought we had worked out our differences,he stoped physically abusing me and was getting better about the verbal for about three years since 2002. Now as he was scheduled to go Iraq to nine years into this rocky marriage, decides he wants to meet other women, he broke my heart when i found out he was seeing other women, he says nothing happened but i dont belive him, when I call and confirm he checked into a motel. Instead of leaving him, i stay because i know he is schedule to leave, yet I made a mistake in venting to a friend of mine. Then one day it happened, we felt an attraction that was beyond physical, I feel terrible because i was angry at my husband and this was the first time in 9 years of marriage i cheated on him. The other person is also married with kids and i feel terrible because I think we may have fallen in love weve been in contact for a year, and the other part is that if i tell my husband i dont know how bad he will react, i just feel bad that he is over in Iraq and how can i tell him i want a divorce, because of everything he did. I dont even think i should be with my friend or husband. I need time to think but i am very scared to even know how to begin to deal with this mess

RomanceClass.com Advice
You are in a very difficult situation.

You need more advice that I can give you because it is very complicated and I only have pieces of the story. I do think your decision to stay away from both of them is a good idea.

But what you really need is professional counselling to get help deciding what to do and how to do it.

You have my best wishes! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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