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We don't love qualities, we love persons; sometimes by reason of their defects as well as of their qualities. --Jacques Maritain



My Ex at the Prom



Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
Alright, after 3 months of me being mad at my ex, I talked to him at school. We never really established where we are now with each other but we've been talking up and catching up a bit lately. I asked him if he was over everything with me and he said that he guessed so, which doesn't sound like to me that he's sure.

Prom is coming up and neither one of us wants to be dateless. My friend told me that he likes someone (whether it's still me or not I don't know) and was waiting for her to come around. 3 days ago just the idea of talking to him would have made me scream, but now somehow things have changed.

I'm kinda scared that I'm going to get those feelings back cause he hurt me when we broke up, though I am over it now. My ex is the kind of guy who never really gets over who he's been with until he finds someone else. I want to go to prom with someone that I'll feel comfortable with, but am unsure if it's a good idea or not. If we continue to talk, him asking me is a huge possibility, so got have you got any thoughts?




RomanceClass.com Advice
I can certainly understand not wanting to go to the prom alone, but sometimes it's better to be alone where you can hang out with friends vs stuck with someone who infuriates you all evening. You and your ex broke up for a reason and it sounds like he was really able to annoy you. So there's no guarantee if you two went together that he might not see someone else there and make you feel like a fool. You don't get very many proms in life and you tend to remember them all for the rest of your life, so that's a pretty serious risk to take.

I'd really look at your circle of friends first. You must have some male friends around. The best thing you can have at a prom is a best friend with you. Are there any of your male friends that are currently dateless? I would really think about asking one of them. A friend will care about you, want you to have fun, and you'll enjoy the prom. Proms are about having fun and being with friends more than anything else. I would really take that route way, way before I considered going with an ex that had the potential to ruin everything.

Especially if your ex is still in the rebound stage, I'd stay clear of anything serious with him. That means he's looking to be with 'someone' until he figures out what else he wants in life. If you gave back in to him, he'd stick with you until he did find someone new, and then drop you, because you were only a placeholder for him. That's a really awful feeling to have when it happens.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com





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