I have also decided to give her a package for her safety
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
Hi I have a question. I am currently living in the US, I am in the 12 grade(senior year). Next year I will be moving back to my country (Canada), where I will be joining the RCMP Royal Canadian Mounted Police. Here is where I need your expert advice: You see there is this girl that I have known since the 10th grade, I worked on a Biology project with her and well…I have been in love with her since. She has got to be the most beautiful girl I have ever met: she has these beautiful blue eyes, flowing red hair. and on the inside she is such an amazing person. I have been in love with her since. Last year as (11th grade) I did not have her in any of my classes, but I did get to see her after school and in the hallways. This year unfortunately she is once again not in any of my classes and to make things worse she has a boyfriend (he graduated high school last year, first year in college). Her best friend is in my class, and she is a good friend of mine as well, and so I do get to see her occasionally…
Ok enough of the background information, here is where I really need your help. The past two years I have been in love with her, but never got the courage to go up and tell her, well now when I finally decided to tell her, I found out from a friend that she has a boyfriend. I am smart enough to know not to try anything… and from what I have heard they don’t seem to have the “strongest” girlfriend-boyfriend relationship, but the point is that she is still “with” him (he may not be totally into her, but she sure loves him)…and chances are that she will be with him for the rest of the year. As I have already mentioned, I will be leaving for Canada next year, right after graduation. This is the part where I need an expert’s advice:
I have decided that I will write her a letter confessing my feelings to her or should I hand it to her…I figured that the latter choice could leave me with a blue eye… so I will give it to a trusted friend, he knows her and he can give it to her. At first I wanted to ask for her pictures, but the other site I was one lovingyou.com told me that would not be a good idea, and that it might creep her out. I guess it makes sense, since she doesn’t really know me that well, and we hardly get to see each other. What do you say?
I have also decided to give her a package for her safety, after all college is going to be a whole new experience for her, a positive one I hope, but just to be on the safe side: I have purchased a few important items for her... including an SAS (British Special Forces) self defense handbook, by Paul Wiseman. its a really cool book written by a former SAS survival trainer, It is based on SAS special forces tactics, incorporated to fit a "Civilian setting", along with that I might also included 2 Kubotans (self defence sticks - very small, yet highly effective), an emergency road kit (tire sealant, flares, med kit, etc, etc), pepper spray mace, alarm/whistle, RCMP standard police issue Flashlight ( I can always get another one for myself, besides her safety is more important to me)....Basically I have given her everything short of a taser(not allowed in the state where we live ...) and shotgun to protect herself. If I was with her in college, I would personally beat the living hell out of any pervert that tried anything with her, but unfortunately I will be half way across the continent, in Regina, Canada training for the RCMP. And if possible I might add in $200 (to spend on herself), as a final show of my love for her. I am not sure though what the out come will be, after graduation I will give the package to my friend so that he can give it to her… one thing that really really scares me is her reaction, do you think she would be flattered or furious? That’s one reason keeping me from giving her that package myself, although I really wish I could meet her personally and maybe spend some time with her one last time before I left for good to Canada. The good thing is that her best friend knows me really well (in a platonic way) so its not that I would appear to be some kind of a stalker…and besides I will be joining the Police force, better yet I Will not even be in the country, I will be some 3300 miles away in Saskatchewan…that’s what lovingyou.com kept telling me: don’t do it, she will get freaked out, she will think you’re a stalker, It got really annoying, I think that stupid website didn’t get the part where I said “I WILL BE IN CANADA” 3000 miles away from her, they were not very helpful. I am hoping that you are a bit more understanding and realize that I really love this girl, heck I have not dated or gone out with any one since I met her (although I had plenty of opportunities) I just lover her and didn’t want to be with anyone else, so do you see my point, stalkers and other creeps are out there for their own damn selfish needs, I really love her, and I have truly have feelings for her. I know that I will give her the letter, but should I e-mail it or add it in with the package that I will give to my friend. Also do you think there is any way I could meet her? It sounds really stupid, but should I? that’s whole problem…I don’t know what is her reaction going to be to that letter/package. I hope you can answer my questions.
You missed your chance with her by not approaching her earlier when you first developed feelings for her. I mention this just as a warning about future relationships with girls.
Your plans for contacting this girl don't seem so bad to me. I wouldn't advise putting $200 in the package. Your other gifts are generous enough although you might consider putting a box of candy in there too.
In the letter, explain that the gifts reflect your concern for her safety and coincide naturally with your upcoming training. Make sure she knows you will be 3000 miles away and that you are not a stalker. Ask only that she will allow you to email her from time to time to see how she is doing. Apologize for not giving the package and note to her personally and think of some reason why you didn't. Make sure your friend gives her the package after you are gone because she might return it otherwise.
Keep in mind that you are walking a tight-rope in coming across to her as a caring distant lover or a misguided soul who chose to do things thru a friend.
Finally, I don't see how you can pull off a meeting with her. But, you could start saying Hi to her when you pass her in the hall. Just say "Hi" plus her first name in a clear voice and look her in the eyes and smile. Keep doing this unless she seems weirded out by it. Otherwise it could lead to further chatting.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com