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All love that has not friendship for its base, Is like a mansion built upon the sand. --Ella Wheeler Wilcox

I just found out my boyfriend of 7 months is not separated from his wife

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I just found out my boyfriend of 7 months is not seperated from his wife. He is a marine who is stationed 2 hrs away from his home. He stays with me during the week Monday through friday and goes home on the weekends, which I thought was to see his kids. Hes has become part of mine and my chldrens everyday lives.
Someone called his wife and told her that he was cheating on her, this person gave her my number. He lied to both of us, but I love. He said he isnt sure what he wants to do...he is not happy in his marriage and stands to lose everything he has worked for for 18 years if he continues to see me...but he takes this chance anyway..He could lose all his military benefits and the promotion he is up for if he gets caught...I am unsure of what to do...I have been given advice from all angles...leave, stay and fight for the man you love...quite confused

RomanceClass.com Advice
Nobody is going to come out a winner here.

My advice is to run from this one. Unfortunately you have grown to love him and your children like him too.

But, if you really love him you would give him up. He stands to lose everything just two years before he could retire. He has a wife and family and even if there are troubles with their relationship, that is nothing compared to the world of hurt he could find himself in.

And, if he did lose everything, he would resent you for it even if you two did get together. That would be a huge black cloud. He would probably have to find some unchallenging low-paying job and work until he is 65 instead of retiring on a nice military pension after 30 years with all the percs that the government offers its retirees.

What if his love for you is a mid-life crisis? Then when it passed, he would definitely resent you.

Sorry you are in this mess! George

-- from George
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