How do I Cheat on my Husband?
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I recently told a guy that I liked him. First of all I have a daughter who is 18 months, and her father and I have been having problems for the last 3 years. Its to the point now that I cannot stand to look at him, and I definitely don't want to be with him. Well there is this guy that I like, and I've liked him now for about 2 years, but him and my daughter's father are kind of cool. They are not best friends though. He found out that I like him, and he said he even liked me, but he just couldn't talk to me because it wouldn't be right.
How can I change his mind. I really like this guy, and I have a gut feeling and everything about him. I even fantasize about being with him. I'm use to getting everything that I want and he is at the top of my want list. What do I do? How can I get him to at least get to know me pesonally. I know once I get him to do that then he can see what a wonderful person I am. Also, my daughter's father has been telling him that I'm crazy and worsome when its him who is always doing something. We've been together for 5 years and he has cheated on me knowly 5 times. Help me please. I am so infactuated with this guy and I just know that if he would forget about the situation and just get to know me it would be well worth it. What do I do to get him to slowly come around, and at least give me a chance.
OK, first. You are married and have a young child. If you are not happy with your husband, you need to either work on the relationship, or get a divorce. Everything you do in that household is permanently affecting your child's views of what a happy relationship should be like. 18 months may seem young, but the way you two talk to each other, act towards each other and everything else is *permanently* embedding itself into your daughter's mind as *normal*. Do you really want her to grow up ruining her own life, because what she had for a guideline was you and a man you hate?
You should never, ever date someone on the rebound. You are using this other guy to make you happy because you're currently unhappy. That's just wrong, and he is protecting himself by resisting. He doesn't want to be involved in a lying, cheating relationship! If you think he could like YOU as a person, then you need to be available FOR him to like. You are not currently available.
So go to a therapist. Either go to find a way to get your marriage working again, or go to find a way for you to get yourself free of it. Choose a path for your life that is healthy and happy for you AND for your daughter. There is no way that that path can involve you living with someone you hate and dragging another guy into a cheating relationship. That would only cause more harm for everyone involved.
If you think you can't live on your own, it's time for you to realize you can. Your daughter *depends* on you to care for her. I know many, many women who are single and raising a child. It's completely possible. So do NOT stay just for money reasons. Get alimony from him, find a roommate, and you'll be amazed at how much happier you will be.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com