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We don't love qualities, we love persons; sometimes by reason of their defects as well as of their qualities. --Jacques Maritain

She suddenly started to say that she wasn't ready and that she needed time

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
This may seem a little confusing but I'll try to explain the situation the best I can. Like 3 months ago I started going out with this girl and everything was going smoothly, even thought she had just broken up with her ex-boyfriend. And then after two months or so, she suddenly started to say that she wasn't ready and that she needed time mostly to get her ex out of her head and to have time for herself, etc. She swears that it has nothing to do with me and promises me that we will be back together someday. What is really going on here? What should I do? (I was a bit insistent at the beginning but have now calmed down and don't talk about "us" anymore) Is the age difference a problem? (i'm 27, she's 18 - but she's had a much older man before). Should I try to convince her? Give her time? What? I'd just like to add that I've had many long term relationships and I know that she is a very special person and is for me. Thanks

RomanceClass.com Advice
Right now you are in limbo -- not here or there.

Of course you should give her the time and space she requests. Otherwise you will just push her away.

Best idea is to call her just once a week to ask her how she is doing, to let her know you still care. Don't drag up the relationship and don't talk for more than 15-20 mins.

This will keep you near the front of her mind, give you some contact with her, and maintain the relationship (at a low level). After a while, she might come back to you. And, if this strategy doesn't work well, you can try something else.

Good luck to you! George
p.s. I am not sure whether the age diff means anything.

-- from George
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