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i hurt my ex in a number of ways

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
i hurt my ex in a number of ways. i am 30 and he is 46. i introduced him to iv drugs, we were going to get married, have a child. there was a lot of abuse from my end. although i hurt him, he was no innocent bystander. i realize now that i'm not on drugs and out of all of the situations i was in when we were trying to be together that i cannot be happy without him. he won't talk to me or see me, he has admitted that he loves me and misses me but that it doesn't matter. how do i get him to understand that the person that hurt him wasn't really me and i can be trusted now? we are both miserable without each other.

RomanceClass.com Advice
Your going to have to go back to step 1.

Call him once a week to just ask him how he is doing. Don't talk about your relationship very much and limit the call to 15 min.

Slowly get him used to talking with you and build that trust that was lost by the "old you." Convince him just by casual talk that you have improved yourself and he would be better off with you again.

This will take a lot of self control on your part, so be prepared for some hard work at not going back to your "old self."

After a month or so of these phone calls, my bet is that he will want to get together for drinks and you two will be on the road to recovery.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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