I said that I was sorry for making her feel nervous
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
I have known this girl for two years now. We met in eighth grade and became really good friends. I've had a HUGE crush on her ever since the first day I met her. We never really hung out a lot outside of school then. She moved away for ninth grade and we fell out of contact with eachother. She is now back at my school for tenth grade. I had decided to since then to tell her that I've liked her for a while now. She said that she had liked me for a while too. We have kind of been "dating" for a while, but nothing has really happened. We haven't kissed or anything, and the only real difference between us then and now is that we hang out a lot more outside of school. Recently though, it seems like she has lost all interest in me. I ask her to call...she doesn't. I write her notes...she doesn't write back. I wanted to hang with her once, and she only wanted to seem to want to if it was convient for her. I know I would have walked ten miles ( literally ) to get to wherever she wanted me to be, as long as I was with her. She seemed to just shurg it off and forget about it. I don't konw if I've also tried to get physically close to her. I literally said..."I really like you a lot, and I just want to be close to you right now. do you mind?" She said "sure"...and she seemed reluctant to do so, but we kinda sat up and held eachother for about a minute, then she let go and played with her hands. I could easily tell that she was nervous so I let go of her, moved away, and said that I was sorry for making her feel nervous. She told me it wasn't my fault and that she was just naturally that way. I asked before getting physically close to her not only because I felt it was the nice thing to do, but also because she had been raped earlier in her life. I don't know whats going on. I am so confused. I know this is supposed to be short, and I'm sorry, but I feel that I can't sum everything up in three sentences, and I really could just keep going on and on. But I'll stop. Please help me in ANY way that you can.
You two seem to be very comfortable talking with each other.
Take advantage of this to find out what is troubling her. She may be confused about it herself. Try to draw her out and share feelings together. That is the best way to get closer with someone. Be as honest as you can be and maybe she will respond in kind.
This might not be easy since she has a sad background, but it would be wonderful if you could help her better deal with it.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com