Is the Love Gone?
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
Am I Just mad at him or do I not really love him anymore?
It's easy to think that love is the blazingly strong emotion you have when you first date, and that if you get mad later on, or things settle down, that the love is gone.
Actually, that stuff you feel in the beginning isn't love. It's lust. Love isn't about "I have to be with him every moment!" Love is about waking up at 2am when he's very sick and washclothing his forehead. It's about forgiving him when he gets home late for the 10th time in 2 weeks. It's about letting her go out with the girls and watching the kids even though you wanted to go do something. It's a long term thing, that knows that life isn't always perfect and sunny, but that you will be there for each other ANYWAY. Love isn't about the blazing passion of a first glance. It's about the enduring togetherness in full understanding of each other's unique traits, flaws, and beauties.
So think about your relationship in that point of view. Sure, you get mad at him. We all get mad at our mates. It's part of life. No two humans are perfectly matched. The question is, are you both willing to work through those problems and find a solution together? Or do you give up, saying "Well, that didn't work, see ya"? If you give up, that's not love. That was a lust that didn't survive reality. But if you do work through the problems, and find solutions, and make an effort to keep each other happy, then THAT is love!
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com