The huge problem is that she has a boyfriend she's been dating since july of last year

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
Hi. I just started college this year. Around a month before i left home, i started liking this girl ive known for 2 and a half years. We were friends but not very close. We never talked on the phone, online or anything. We just saw each other once in awhile. But during the summer, i started hanging out with her and her twin (theyre completly different in looks and personality) and we were connecting at an unbelievable level. Ive never connected with another person in my life like that. The huge problem was and still is, is that she has a boyfriend shes been dating since july of last year. The wierd thing is when we hung out and he wasnt there, she would make obvious signs of interest. And when he was there, it was obvious she was trying to keep distance. The last night i was home, when i was saying bye to her, i told her i would think of her more than anyone i know. Afterwords, i went to my godfathers house and said bye to him. On the way to my best friends house, she asked me to stop by her house cause she forgot to give me something. After i said bye to my best friend, i went over to her house. She came out and gave me a present. Afterwords, we were hugging and her lips were pressed to my lower cheek the entire time. I told her i really meant what i said to her when we said bye the first time. Before i knew it, she was kissing me. My lips were moving but i was in shock. Afterwords, we let go and she said she had to go back inside her house. But before she did, i kissed her. We had agreed when we were hanging out that night i would talk to her late at night since my flight was at 7AM and i wasnt planning on sleeping. When i called her, i beat around the bush for a little bit. I finally mentioned what happened. She said she was kind of unhappy with her relationship and she had gained interest in me at the same time. She said kissing me was not fooling around and it really meant something. However, she thought that it couldnt go on past that night cause she has a boyfriend, who she pretty much cheated on. I told her to do what she thought was best and that killed me. I wanted to be with her so much, even though i wouldnt be able to be there for her in person. Now im in college, 3000 miles away and i cant get over her. I know im in love with her. I know the difference between love and infatuation and i know for certain its not infatuation. Ive never felt anything near to what i feel for her. I know i should get over her, but theres somethings blocking me. Every girl i might be interested normally doesnt intrigue me at all. I look through every girl in this school. All i can think about is her and lose sleep every night because of it. Now she thinks im completly over her because she asked my best friend if i was. He said i was because he didnt want me to look desperate or anything like that. If it was any other girl ive liked in the past, i wouldve gotten over her. But theres something about this girl. I feel like its supposed to go on past that one night and turn into something amazing. Now my closests friends are telling me to talk to her when i get back for thanksgiving break, and tell her how i feel. Im planning to do that cause if i dont, i'll probably end up wondering for a very very long time, maybe even my whole life, what COULDVE happened if i talked to her. My feelings for her grows stronger all the time. i cant imagine anyone else being more perfect for me and everyone that knows about my crappy situation agrees. Even she said we had a great connection. I never ask her about her and her boyfriend, but they must have a good relationship, considering theyve been going out for over a year. Everyone knows theyre not a good match however. What am i supposed to do? is it a good idea for me to tell her how i feel? I havent seen her for over 2 months now and i should be over her. However, i just cant..... what do i do?????????? Advice
My advice is to copy/past what you wrote above and send a copy of it to her through email or by postal mail.

You could never say in words anything a clear, honest, and well thought out as you have above. She should be delighted to receive it.

Also tell her you are looking forward to seeing her again at Thanksgiving and that you hope you can hang out.

Good luck! George
p.s. if you don't have a copy, you can find it at
on the main menu choose Read and Get Personal Advice and then look under Flirting and Friendship. Then look for the title "The huge problem is that she has a boyfriend"

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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