I have tried to finish with him three times
Visitor's Question from a 41-50 year old Female
I have been dating an older man for 9 months. He has confessed some bad things including cheating on both wives previously. Once with a sister, then with prostitutes. He started our relationship slowly because he says he does not want to make any more mistakes. He is still in contact with four ex girlfriends who he chose not to be with and confides in them about our problems. One of them recently sent him chocolate underpants! They want to be with him and are al single. He has no local male friends. He wants me to meet his ex partners but I feel he keeps contact with them like trophies and that this is emotional infidelity. He seems to have been sexually faithful to me up until now. I have tried to finish with him three times. He says people deserve the chance to prove they have changed. I also recently met up with my first love who I saw for dinner and chats while he was on a trip to the UK. He says he is in love with me and wants to come back from Australia to date me. I had an intense reaction to him. I am having trouble ending the first relationship because I am fond of the older chap. However, I have just emerged from a marriage which was emotionally abusive and I am not very good at being decisive in my own defense. The Australia chap is a good man whose marriage of 24 years has ended even though he has put superhuman efforts into saving it and did not stray from his wife. Many people would have ended the relationship with the older man on the evidence of chocolate underpants alone! I do not want to miss the opportunity of finding out about my first love but I am very fond of the other. What should I do? What can I ask myself that would help me get some answers?
Find out from your first love how sincere he is.
Look ahead 20 years and ask yourself which one would you prefer to be with.
Look back and remember the reasons you had to try to break up three times.
Look at the present and think about the man you have. Do you believe that he will remain faithful? My guess is not. Especially with ex's who like chocolate shorts. And you aren't getting any younger (sorry!)
Hope this turns out well for you! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com